from now on my penis is your penis
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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