youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
