i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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