When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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