That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
