you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
