My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
