I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
