he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
