Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
