HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
