dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
