come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
