Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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