I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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