Life is so much better after having sex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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