I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
