Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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