Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
