she was so not down for the gang bang
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
