Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
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