Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
