So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
