So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
