This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
areolas are like halos for boobs.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
