i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
