We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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