Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
