He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
