I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
