He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
someone owes me an orgasm
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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