Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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