i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
