I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
