TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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