I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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