he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize