your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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