i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
