do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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