Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
