No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Green mimosas i think yes
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
whose ass print is on the piano?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
