I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Enjoy the penises
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
