I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
