your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
