weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
