The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
