can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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