The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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