ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize