just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
