He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
