Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
