OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
