No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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