everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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