i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize