K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize